For the following statement, I will speak as one that actually truly believes in not only the existence of an afterlife, i.e. ghosts, but also in their ability to communicate with the living. In addition, I would define their ability by the extreme emotional quality of their actual existence. These ghosts are often characterized by guilt, remorse, loss, suffering, sadness, immense love, "unfinished business"- in other words, some kind of extreme passion.
WHY THEN..WHY would you ask such passive questions in such a dispassionate manner. Wouldn't you want to provoke a response (unless you are dealing with a daemon- but that's another story) by asking provocative questions. If I was confronting the spirit of someone that torture and executed women, I would use that fact against them. Perhaps the energy level of yourself, and what you believe, could help to provoke the apparition, no? Ig you are gentle, they seem to be gentle (some exceptions apply). If you are aggressive, perhaps (depending on the spirit's personality) they might meet you with that level of passion.
Just a speculation on GHI terms.