If you never been in the same situation then do not judge

I'm American. I visited Ghana because my brother married a woman there. My new brother in law asked me for money regularly during the 2 month stay, almost daily. The family asked me to buy them things every time I went out. Imagine going to visit someone (for the first time) and being expected to pay for everything (groceries, outings, bills, literally everything) and afterward to send monthly remittances. This is the classic West/ everywhere else interaction. We are blown away by their close and extensive family ties and this is related to how astonished we are by how casual they are about expecting to be tied into whatever income we have. I think they instinctively believe, what's yours is mine. This is how they live. They support each other in this way. Western culture is very individualistic. We ARE insulted by requests for money. I was insulted. Definitely. It's something about how we think. But seeing my story again in her story has made it clearer to me that this attitude about money is learned and related to my Western upbringing.

This is as heartbreaking to see now as it was when I saw it years ago on PBS.Heidi had good intentions, not to mention the courage, to seek her biological mother. She must have had a difficult life dealing with issues of abandonment (by her biological mother) and self-worth (with how her adoptive mother treated her). By connecting with her past, she must have expected to realize things that were missing in her life. It is understandable that she felt slighted by the requests made from her especially because she had no relationship with them other than bloodline.On the other had, it must have been difficult for her Vietnamese family to pass up the opportunity to ask Heidi for some help. Vietnam is a third-world country, and having a link to the US must have been a glimmer of hope for them. We must remember that despite the ever-shrinking world we live in, there are still cultural differences that we need to understand. Neither Heidi nor her Vietnamese family is particularly wrong in this situation. They are all what they are, or acted the way they did, because of circumstance and culture. I cannot judge neither parties. It's just how it is. Life and the human experience is complex.I am most surprised by the harsh criticism that people have against Heidi. If there is any stereotype proven by the comments, it is that people can be ignorant, hateful, and judgmental. Name calling and self-righteousness does not give any sense of credibility to one's opinion.I hope everybody in the story has found peace to regain connection with one another.