I checked my email, and I didn't get a report from Sam (per: the pilot episode). Here's the first clue: when a writer feels the need to use the script to explain jokes, it's not funny.
Like, how many times do you need to repeat what "andval" means? And the unnatural tag ons, "Just like the internet told us," and, "You know, 'cuz her face is kinda long and horsy." Still not funny.
I felt I was watching an episode of Gilmore Girls, although, I admit, I don't actually know what that's like. Not even Darcy could save this one.
One good line will not turn a lame script into a comedy: "Ooh, you're going out in that?"