Yes you do make sense, I should see how fits into my lifestyle rather than overhaul all my plans to accommodate what I would consider a crazy person if I really sat down and thought about it. I think controlling people works better for children, and one wouldn't want an adult around him constantly waiting for the grown up in the relationship to make all the decisions. Even when I raise kids, I try to make them as autonomous and independent thinking as soon as possible so that I don't have to worry about poor decision making. I guess I just need to date people whose characters I can read very well, and who I can predict how they will react in a range of circumstances. Once I know that, I'll know how I can tolerate and who I can't, and then either date them or avoid them. I am not very tolerant of weakness, so it would be a disaster to date a man who exhibited such characteristics. I wouldn't want to constantly have to save someone, or get him from the ditch where he fell asleep because he was drunk :) lol, it sure is wild. But this is better than having to experience this in a marriage setting. It's harder to walk out of that.   See 11 other replies

:) I can walk out easily because I watched my mom walk out of one marriage that seemed ok, and then stick in the next one which was terrible for her. She should have walked out a second time but she opted to stay. What happened next was a complete disaster, so I always advocate for walking out. I turned out pretty normal, most of the time, and even if a parent creates the perfect conditions, it doesn't guarantee that the kids will be ok. Either way, everyone will get emotionally scarred in some way or another. I think the thing that saved me was being raised by more than just the nuclear family, for me, having only a mother and father raise a child is actually harmful. That's why I'd send my kids back home to have them raised by multiple relatives so they can enjoy having many people as parent figures. What one person misses to impart, 20 other people can pitch in and make sure the children get what they need. I'm actually closer to my parent figures than my actual parents, and it's pretty common back home. Some tribes make sure to minimize contact with biological parents so that there is less of a chance of spoiling the children.   See 11 other replies

The idea is to be in control of your own life and allow people to enter it as long as they don't interfere too much. But since you want your independence, to avoid telling them what to do yourself. That's how I roll, and it's hard to do but not as hard as trying to steer a car with 4 hands. lolLived alone all my life and, as you get older, you get more and more set in your ways. Sometimes your profession will dictate the type of relationships you have too. I wouldn't walk out on a family as that was done to me as a kid - I just avoid creating one at all costs.We're talking about wild romance... but not the Korean drama anymore, I'm afraid!   See 11 other replies

:) I think we all have our ways of trying to make our lives full. I never wanted to have kids at all since I have a 'mission' in life and kids would get in the way of that. But of late, the few guys I have liked, they seemed to want kids. And I have no issues walking out on kids and a husband, same way I have no issues with having kids raised half a world away by my relatives. The only problem is that few guys would want that. So I just thought I'll probably never marry, and if I get pregnant, the guy should never find out otherwise we'll be in court for all sorts of issues including kidnapping. I need control since I grew up with tonnes of instability, so I always like to be the one making the decisions since I can trust myself. I can trust the decisions I would make on behalf of the entire family, whereas I have watched men basically imagine that they are still single but alas, they are old men who need to be thinking about how what they do affects everyone around them. Most of the time when I meed a 'nice' guy, I usually chill out. If I have no reason to worry, I'll remain in nice mode. But that doesn't mean I won't check to make sure he paid taxes, that this and that was done .... I basically won't stop being who I am, and what I am is close to OCD, I don't want things to fall out of step then I have to pay the price for it. This older guy I dated recently, if he talked to the younger guys I dated, they would all think they were talking about a different person. I mostly become a mirror for what they are. If they act funny, I act funny and drop them really fast. I understand your saying it's constant compromising and negotiating. I like things to go my way, maybe I'm too spoiled, I even lived alone for a while where everything was on my schedule. That's why I get up at 4am still, for the last 5 years, I don't see how I'll change that to 7am because I met a husband :D   See 11 other replies

Best of luck! After marriage was a disappointment, she started having kids, hoping to have new best friends that way... wrong again. Life is tough.Need for control is not a nice trait, girl! You definitely want to avoid guys who won't respect or listen to you, but hopefully it's not so you can turn the tables on them. You gotta find someone who'll mostly want what you want, then let you be when you disagree. And then extend the courtesy to them. Marriage being a constant negotiation/compromise game, I think it's soul-crushing and have avoided it at all cost, but it's a personal thing.   See 11 other replies

Actually all the nerdy guys, or the quiet ones I have gone after have turned out to have something wrong with them. The one I have a crush on right now, he's very polite and nice in person, but when he's on stage you'd never know. I think a guy who would not be rude to me would more likely take instruction from me without opposition. I guess you can say I like a guy that I can control. But there's nothing quite as annoying as a quiet guy who is passive aggressive, lol. Nope, I'll marry the guy who is more than just quiet, so I hope to escape your sister's fate :D   See 11 other replies

You sound like my sister: she would only go for 'safe' guys, like nerdy types, that she wouldn't feel to threatened by. People often do this after getting hurt. I hope that you do better than the one she ended up marrying! lol   See 11 other replies