haha - it's the man himself...it's Dracula!   See 2 other replies

Opening Scene: *After the battle, Dracula kneels, kisses cross*
Dracula – Thank you Jesus for letting me stab dudes with my spear in your name, Amen.
*Sees vision of wife*
D – Elizabeth!
*Back in the chapel*
Priest – Wow dude, she killed herself, epic fail. She’s so going to hell, that’s the rules.
D – *screams*
D – I run around killing bltches in thy name Lord, and this is how you repay me? Fvck that bro.
Priest – Stop, stop! I don’t have insurance on this place!
D – *hisses* And now that I have knocked over your water bowl and other cheap props, I shall stab this cross. Eat shlt and die, Jesus! *thrusts sword into cross*
D – Oh, blood. That looks delicious. *takes a sip*
*Blood pours from the cross*
D – Nooo!*****Scene where the concubines feed from Keanu: *Dracula enters suddenly*
D – How many times have I told you bltches?! You are forbidden to feed from The One!
Women – *whimper*
Woman 1 – But daddy, we’re so hungry… please…
D – Be at ease my child. Some crack wh0re left this baby on the doorstep, and you know Daddy has refined tastes. Here, you can have it.
Women – Oh yummy, crack babies!
Keanu – Whoaaa! ... I mean, like… Nooooo!
D – *laughs maliciously*   See 3 other replies

I turned on captions in my account settings, saved, reloaded the movie and they still weren’t there. I don’t see the “closed captioning available” icon by the title either, so that’s not an option. There’s a part later where he’s talking to the concubines and gives them the baby to feed from where we miss what’s being discussed as well. I’ve seen the movie before and it’s obvious what’s going on, you can understand the context of what’s being said by the actions taking place…. but still, it’s rather annoying to not be able to see the actual conversation.That said, don’t be an idiot Dario.
Considering the fact that this movie is marked for adult audiences, you have to log in to watch it, and not a single topless shot nor the scene where Lucy is being fvcked by Wolf-Dracula was edited out (which shows her tlts too) – it’s safe to say the captioning being left out was probably an accident as opposed to Hulu trying to “please the Censors” or make sure Jesus doesn’t get mad at them.I've attached the content of the captions as a reply to this post.   See 3 other replies