Hulu - Videos for Onion News Network

Onion News Network - Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:41:05 -0000

11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.

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Added: Sat Nov 21 02:41:05 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Nov 19 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 03:13

Onion News Network - Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:58:05 -0000

Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly

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Added: Tue Nov 17 16:58:05 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Nov 17 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:38
Rating: 3.9 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: the 1993 Taurus

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:24:02 -0000

Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.

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Added: Fri Nov 06 17:24:02 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Nov 05 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 01:46
Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End to Clippers Game

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:24:09 -0000

People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth.

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Added: Tue Nov 03 20:24:09 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Oct 29 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:20
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:14:09 -0000

An honors student died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for Glenn Beck.

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Added: Tue Nov 03 16:14:09 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Nov 03 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 01:50
Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Onion News Network - How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:57:11 -0000

Expert stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's obvious homosexuality.

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Added: Tue Oct 27 17:57:11 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Oct 27 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:51
Rating: 3.9 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:07:11 -0000

In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.'

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Added: Tue Oct 27 00:07:11 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Oct 22 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:33
Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:42:11 -0000

Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should reign in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.

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Added: Tue Oct 20 21:42:11 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Oct 20 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:49
Rating: 3.2 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just for Woman He Follows

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:34:10 -0000

Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night.

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Added: Thu Oct 15 19:34:10 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Oct 15 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:03
Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:07:10 -0000

White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.

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Added: Tue Oct 13 15:07:10 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Oct 13 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:46
Rating: 3.6 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Are the Obamas Out of Touch With the Average Miserable American Family?

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:16:10 -0000

Panelists discuss whether Obama's openly loving, considerate family is a slap in the face to the average American who only bears feelings of resentment towards relatives.

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Added: Thu Oct 01 18:16:10 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Oct 01 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:26
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Crime Reporter Finds Way of Linking Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:14:10 -0000

On Raw Justice, host Dean Reid investigates the closed case of an 'accidental' fire and finds shocking new evidence of sexually motivated arson

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Added: Tue Sep 29 17:14:10 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Sep 29 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 03:04
Rating: 3.1 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:20:13 -0000

8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck.

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Added: Thu Sep 24 16:20:13 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Sep 24 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:26
Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Onion News Network - BREAKING NEWS: Bat Loose in Congress

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:53:08 -0000

Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.

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Added: Tue Sep 22 14:53:08 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Sep 22 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 03:14
Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:00:04 -0000

As Americans rush to join the Nouveau Poor, panelists debate whether the newly poor are capable of integrating with long established poor families from old poverty roots.

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Added: Fri Sep 18 16:00:04 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Sep 17 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:43
Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Onion News Network - U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:40:07 -0000

Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers

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Added: Tue Sep 15 16:40:07 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Sep 15 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:28
Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:40:05 -0000

Americans say attending a 9/11 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong.

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Added: Fri Sep 11 16:40:05 UTC 2009
Air date: Fri Sep 11 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 01:44
Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Onion News Network - NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:30:04 -0000

Thanks to the NFL's Mentoring Program, the Lions got to spend a fun-filled day with the pros learning to catch, tackle.

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Added: Tue Sep 08 16:30:04 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Sep 08 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 01:49
Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 00:10:22 -0000

'E-Mom' Gloria Bianco shows Jim and Tracy how geographical distance is no longer a roadblock to shamelessly interfering with the lives of your children.

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Added: Wed Sep 02 00:10:22 UTC 2009
Air date: Tue Sep 01 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:47
Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Onion News Network - Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:40:13 -0000

In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur's sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded valuable intelligence.

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Added: Fri Aug 28 19:40:13 UTC 2009
Air date: Thu Aug 27 00:00:00 UTC 2009
Duration: 02:39
Rating: 3.9 / 5.0