Experts advise that anyone venturing outdoors should be on the lookout for extremely crunchy leaves and winds as high as 12 mph.

Added: October 09, 2008
Air date: October 09, 2008
Duration: 02:11
Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

The Obama campaign is cautiously optimistic after initial reports indicated that most of the people killed were registered Republicans.

Added: October 08, 2008
Air date: October 07, 2008
Duration: 03:06
Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chinese gathered to see Zhang Tong, the first Chinese man to go into space without being chained inside the rocket.

Added: October 02, 2008
Air date: October 02, 2008
Duration: 02:13
Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

In response to Republican attacks, Barack Obama unleashed a series of slightly negative ads that gently point out how McCain could be doing a better job.

Added: September 30, 2008
Air date: September 30, 2008
Duration: 03:02
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

McCain pointed to his personal success in marrying a wealthy beer heiress to prove how the plan could benefit every American.

Added: September 24, 2008
Air date: September 23, 2008
Duration: 02:05
Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.

Added: September 18, 2008
Air date: September 18, 2008
Duration: 02:25
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, you’ll barely be able to tell they have no souls.

Added: September 16, 2008
Air date: September 16, 2008
Duration: 02:40
Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game.

Added: September 12, 2008
Air date: September 08, 2008
Duration: 02:40
Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

The sudden drop in demand for "Buck Fush" T-shirts and "Hail to the Chimp" posters could leave millions unemployed.

Added: September 11, 2008
Air date: September 11, 2008
Duration: 02:41
Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork.

Added: September 04, 2008
Air date: September 04, 2008
Duration: 02:45
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible.

Added: September 02, 2008
Air date: September 02, 2008
Duration: 03:05
Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Overjoyed civil rights leaders say that Barack Obama has paved the way for future black politicians to be smeared as country club snobs.

Added: August 28, 2008
Air date: August 28, 2008
Duration: 02:21
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Texas residents are relieved that the deadly Category 5 storm just missed them, destroying a horn-shaped land mass south of them instead.

Added: August 26, 2008
Air date: August 26, 2008
Duration: 02:11
Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Residents took part in rituals like picking through the charred remains of their homes and feigning shock that this could happen to them.

Added: August 21, 2008
Air date: August 21, 2008
Duration: 01:44
Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

A recent election poll indicates vegan independents and skydiving widowers are among the groups that will have a major impact in November.

Added: August 19, 2008
Air date: August 19, 2008
Duration: 02:40
Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Mission specialist Robert Barrett first became suspicious when he noticed most of his tasks involved measuring his waist and eating cookie dough.

Added: August 14, 2008
Air date: August 14, 2008
Duration: 02:15
Rating: 3.9 / 5.0

The Chinese government explained that the fatal disease is caused by the excitement of the Olympics, not infected birds, as was previously reported.

Added: August 12, 2008
Air date: August 12, 2008
Duration: 01:37
Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Cosmo scientists have finally cataloged every single way to satisfy your man's carnal cravings by stimulating his secret sex zones.

Added: August 07, 2008
Air date: August 07, 2008
Duration: 01:58
Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

The spokesdrone will field questions deemed too dangerous for a human press secretary, whose career could be irreparably damaged by answering them.

Added: August 05, 2008
Air date: August 05, 2008
Duration: 01:48
Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

'In The Know' panelists discuss whether our athletes will be able to escape the bamboo cages the Chinese government will try to imprison them in.

Added: August 01, 2008
Air date: July 31, 2008
Duration: 02:09
Rating: 4.1 / 5.0